Cats are sociopaths. They pretend to like you, they convince you of their love and then piss on your slippers, they like to walk across your keyboard and change the view of your desktop, and generally sabotage your shit. They are no kind of friend.
I have encountered cats I've loved, generally those who have been debased to the point where they allow themselves to be treated like dogs. You know, following their masters into the bathroom when they get up to take a shit, wagging their tails, and letting their coats be petted "against the grain"...
True, cats have personalities akin to any austere, emotionless human being, but their constant licking, spiteful vomiting, and destruction of property have become to me more than just annoying little habits. In other words, I would never date a cat.
The above cat is no exception. I used to enjoy watching my cats bat around mice they had found because I felt it a sizable punishment for gnawing a hole in my Christmas stocking, but my cats were always reasonable enough to let the mice go stumbling blind-sided back to their hole. Cicadas, with their rattling fart noises, have never been a favorite of mine either. But this cicada did not deserve to be Bear-Gryll'd.
